


First Assignment

by NoBrandHero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Bodyguard, F/M, Gun Violence, HSWC 2014, Minor Violence, alien bigotry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 12:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBrandHero/pseuds/NoBrandHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat's reluctant to accept that he'd ever need a bodyguard, especially when the bodyguard in question is a cheerful young markswoman. He comes around to the idea, eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Assignment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whittler_of_words](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whittler_of_words/gifts).



> HSWC Bonus Round 4: Tropes
> 
> "[Bodyguard Trope. The bodyguard and their client fall in love.](http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/21508.html?thread=5901060#cmt5901060)"

After your irises changed color, you didn't think anything could be more humiliating than the moment your mutant blood color inevitably went public. Turns out, your imagination just wasn't working hard enough.

The government thinks you need a bodyguard. A goddamn bodyguard. On _Earth_. Can you get a little fucking credit for the self-preservation skills you obviously have that enabled you to survive this long on your own? No, apparently you're weak and useless now that your eyes have turned. Maybe next they'll insist on a nanny to make sure you don't fall into the load gaper!

You suppose technically assigning you a bodyguard is a better reaction than ordering your death. It wasn't that long ago that you would have been culled on sight for your blood, but you're "lucky" enough to live in an era when Alternia's policies are a little more leniant. Instead of execution, you're just stuck living on Earth, sheltered under some old war treaty that was meant to encourage friendly migration between the planets. Lowbloods have it easier now that they have the option to ship off-planet, but it's still a fucking embarrassment to abandon the home world for the sake of a safer life.

You, apparently, get to be the embarrassment to top all others, though. Not only are you on Earth to save your hide, but the Earth government considers you such a special case that you deserve- no, you _need_ a fucking bodyguard.

And maybe it's even true. Treaties can't do shit about cultural norms and most trolls still want nothing more than to give you crap about your mutation. It's not _legal_ to hurt you anymore, but that's not likely to stop any bluebloods who think they're tough shit and care too much about the status quo.

Which is why you find Jade Harley at your door one afternoon. She looks younger than you, but she presumably must be legally an adult -- you goddamn hope. The rifle resting on her back is what gives away her profession.

"Hi!" she says with a big smile. "Karkat, right? They probably told you already, but I'm Jade Harley!"

You stare blankly. They assigned you a human. The bodyguard meant to stalk you 24/7 for your own safety is a barely-adult human who smiles too much and probably couldn't look intimidating if she tried.

She tilts her head, her smile faltering but not letting up entirely. "Hi? Karkat?"

You press a hand against your forehead, trying to fight off an inevitable headache. "Don't tell me," you mutter. "I'm your first assignment."

"Yep! It's pretty exciting!" she says. At your unimpressed glower, her eyes widen in realization. "Oh! But don't worry, I'm a professional! Officially I may be new, but I got top marks and everything on my practice work."

You roll your eyes and stomp back inside, leaving the door open for her. "Well, it doesn't matter whether you're on par with an Earth sunflower or Troll Rambo, considering I don't goddamn intend on being in a situation where I need anyone's fucking help."

"That's the hope!" she says cheerfully, hopping into your hive -- "house," they're called here -- and kicking the door shut behind her.

From that moment on, she's always thirty feet away from you at a maximum -- ten feet if you dare risk the dangerous maneuver of stepping outside to grab the mail or buy groceries or see a movie. At least she considers you safe enough in your own home that she can sleep on a spare cot instead of camping out in your room. Sometimes it feels as if sleep is the only time you can get any damn space.

She is so damn cheerful that you want to vomit maggots just to add some gloom to the place. She claps when she's excited and smiles almost as much as you frown and plays silly games to entertain herself while you read. All that said, she doesn't take your shit. If you shout at her for following you too closely or offering to make enough food for two while she fixes her own supper (as if you need any more fucking pampering than you already deal with), that smile is gone in a flash.

"If you are uncomfortable with something, I am perfectly willing to work out a compromise, Karkat!" she says, drawing herself up to her full height. It's still not intimidating, but her stern tone sure is. "All you have to do is ask instead of throwing a fit!"

"I want you to fucking acknowledge that I can take care of my damn self without you chasing after me as if I'm a useless wiggler getting lost in the brooding caverns!"

She sighs. "Of course I know that!" Her tone softens. "I'm just being friendly. You know? So we can be friends and not just people who tolerate each other for work?"

You keep your glare steady as you stomp back to your room to sulk. Obviously you'd blow up at her when she's only trying to be nice.

Next time you put a movie in, you gruffly ask if she's interested in joining you on the couch at a poor attempt at apology. She doesn't understand romance films like you do and she kind of just shrugs if you talk the advanced science of it to her, but she enjoys them and doesn't make fun of you for watching them -- unlike some bulgelickers you know.

On the whole, you really don't need her looking after you. This pleases her but pisses you off; you were fucking right that you could survive just fine without a bodyguard covering your ass. Whenever you encounter a troll who tries to hassle you, you just growl and scream your most creative obscenities their way, teeth bare and claws on the ready to back them up. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch that Jade's half a second from grabbing her gun, but so long as your own intimidating force scares off your leering opponent, she doesn't interfere. Most trolls think you're not worth the cuts and bruises you'd give them.

You finally find an exception to that rule, a few months after being under Jade's as-of-yet unneeded protection. By now you're used to your cheerful human shadow, you're used to the dirty looks even the rustbloods shoot you when they catch your blood color, and you're used to a false sense of security.

You just saw a matinee of a troll film that took half of forever to get imported to Earth -- you absolutely didn't need to stop in the bathroom afterwards to wipe at your eyes, even if it was an emotional roller coaster and no one could possibly fucking blame you if you had -- and are halfway down the block from the theater when a troll much larger than you swoops past, snatches you by the front of your shirt, and slams you against the nearest building.

On instinct, you reach for the sickles you know damn well haven't been on your person outside your home since moving planet -- Earth laws again, demanding that you procure bullshit permits before you can carry weapons around like Jade does.

"And what the hell kind of freak do we have here?" the troll sneers, peering at your bright red irises with his cerulean eyes. His hand adjusts to grip at your throat.

An explosion like a firework sounds loud enough to make your hear ducts ring. The ceruleanblood jerks back, the tip of one of his horns shattering as a bullet zips through it.

"Put him down _now_ , fuckass!" Jade yells. You've never actually seen her aim her rifle before, but her arms are perfectly steady and the usual cheer in her eyes is replaced by anger. "You don't get another warning shot!"

The ceruleanblood starts to growl, but Jade tightens her grip without hesitation, ready to blow his head off at the first sign of aggression.

"Runts aren't worth the trouble anyway," he snarls as he drops you.

You want to throw something at him or shout some choice words after him, but for once your survival instincts win out and you just stay still. Jade keeps her weapon pointed at the troll's back until he turns a corner.

She slips the rifle over her shoulders before running to you. She does a quick scan to make sure you aren't injured, then pulls you into a tight hug. You weren't expecting that, but you're... you're kind of glad for the comfort, honestly -- and that you didn't have to initiate it and thus admit you were shaken up enough to need it.

You don't give her as much shit about coddling you from then on and she's gracious enough to never utter a single "I told you so."

It takes a week before you can go outside without getting fidgety, but you eventually settle back into a calm routine. You don't encounter anymore threats high enough to warrant her interference, but it helps just knowing she's right there in case you fuck up.

She's been living with you and watching your back a little over half a sweep when you find a letter addressed to her sitting open on your coffee table. You pick it up in an attempt to straighten out the place and your reading speed is fast enough that you're halfway through the first paragraph at one glance. You wouldn't have snooped if it looked personal, but you assumed it was some inane form letter offering her an insurance policy or a new credit card, in which case you were going to toss it in the garbage where it belonged.

You realize too late that it's from her boss, actually. It takes you a moment to parse the professional language and ensuing rigmarole, but you're pretty sure these are orders to switch to a new assignment. If you understand it correctly, it's a promotion even. You try not to acknowledge how your blood pusher drops at the thought.

"Karkat?" she says from behind you.

You jump, but you don't bother trying to cover up your nosiness. You know how sharp her eyes are. "Sorry, I didn't mean..." What excuse do you owe her anyway? She's leaving. "Sorry."

She shakes her head and plucks the letter from your grasp as if you're a pupa caught trying to sneak a snack before dinner, only minor annoyance behind her features as she gathers up the mail she'd carelessly left in plain sight. "My bad for leaving a mess you'd want to clean up."

"So you're leaving."

She shoves the letter back into its envelope and makes a neat pile. "Nope." She grins over her shoulder at you. "I'd have to accept the reassignment to do that and I'm perfectly happy where I am, so I'll just be sending them another no thank you."

You're shocked silent. Another. This isn't even the first time she's stayed with you.

"Jade?" You clear your throat. "You want to catch a movie in an hour?"

She beams. "Sure."

You didn't specify, but you're fairly sure she already knows that you aren't asking her to the movies as just a bodyguard this time.


End file.
